March 24, 2015

It's Monday.

"...i need to post. a quiet, assured, down-to-earth, completely honest post." 

it's monday.
i'm finally sitting in front of a bowl of much-anticipated broccoli-cheese soup after running around teaching multiple children piano lessons all day. i'm thinking about how i need to fill up my nearly-empty tank with gas, and i have more than a few stray hairs tumbling around my face where they shouldn't be.
i don't mind.

It's been a long time since I posted.
More than a long time, really.
I promised myself I would post more this year than last. Just like I promised myself last year I would post more than the year before (yeah, not happening.). And I'm trying to figure out exactly when this growing up thing actually kicked in, because this time last year I was anticipating my birthday and all the grown-upness that would apparently come with that age, and discovered that that certainly was not all it was cracked up to be. And now I'm actually driving everywhere all the time running my own business and working for someone else, teaching and mothering around forty kids a week, and trying to figure out when my social life ended up being at my job that I work at the crack of dawn schedule I have- or on instagram.
My mom just texted me and asked when I'm meeting her at the gym. It was supposed to be five minutes ago.

All I can think at this point is at least I love children. And music. Yes, that more than words can say.

In these rushing days and times of speed, I relish this time like never before. To sit before a bowl of home-made soup.  To sip a quick cup of coffee and chat with my mom. sit before the feet of my King.

I couldn't be more thankful and happy where I am now.
There were a few anonymous commenters a while ago, saying things like, "We know her life isn't perfect (yes, that's actually been asked before) because she hasn't posted in a while." Believe me, I was posting when I was going through one of the most trying times of my life.
This is not on behalf of them.
This is on behalf of me saying my little world is crazy. Never has and never will be perfect.  
But oh gosh, it's beautiful.

Children bring me roses. Yellow and pink ones, like they know they're my favorite.
Worship comes alive for me- all the time. In the car. As I drive past the mountains. As I watch the twilight skies. I can ponder on His grace more in the silence of my drives, and it's wonderful.
I guess what I'm saying is what we can see as mundane or bad or rushed or annoying can be listed among the just plain "I-really-want-to-stay-home" today on a Sunday morning when you know you have a Sunday-School class to teach. Because once I get there on that Sunday morning, I'm reminded exactly why God planted this seed inside me. I'm more myself than I ever have been or will be, because I'm living with purpose. And it's okay to be weak, worried. Because that's when we truly see Him carry us through.

And it's now a Tuesday morning in which I've wrapped this post up (does that say anything?), and I just had to say I'm just thankful for Jesus and the grace He's enveloped us all in.
Know it
and feel it
and see it
this morning.

live each day Loved. 
Because you, my friend, are.
When things appear completely imperfect? Well, it's that Love that makes me see through rosy-colored spectacles, if you will. Because I don't write the story.
He is for me. He is not against me. And oh, He's got such a beautiful plan working even as I write this.

To your Monday, Tuesday, and whenever I see you next.
Be blessed. Stay fulfilled. 


February 28, 2015

-Wearing White-

The sky- oh, it was in rosy pink hues. Golden. And the sun's rays were just beginning to peak over the mountain tops surrounding our little valley.
I was driving to work the other morning at my almost usual time of 5:40 in the morning. I'd begun to cherish these short drives at such stillness, knowing that I won't have that the remainder of the day. And when I saw the sky... when I saw the illuminated cross as I drove up a hill nearby... I gave a little gasp: "There's my Groom." 
I don't even know what brought that about. I started and gave a small giggle after I said the words, and my eyes grew wide.
What I had just said... was something He's been trying to plant in my heart lately.  And oh, this is the longest engagement ever.
But He calls me His bride.

I, the filthiest of sinners. Am one He calls beloved.
He is my Love.


February 25, 2015

-Morning Ideals-

Definitely on the shaky side. Not my best work. But still. There's something sweet and precious about coffee in the morning- maybe it's because it warms me up. Maybe it's because we sit down in the morning as a family and chat during that time. Maybe it's just me as the videographer and idealist and hope(ful) romantic who finds something in this. 
But then. 
Aren't we all one of those who finds and discovers something sweet in the nothingness of life?