September 12, 2014
time stands still in small moments that look strangely like ordinary life.
Recording my life in words and photos to tell the story of His faithfulness to future generations and chart the path for those gathering strength and boldness to continue on in the journey. I guess what I think right now is that, looking back at second glimpse, all those moments that I thought were special at the time are simply pointing back to how much I want to love. And how much courage it actually takes to do so. These are the moments I long for, even as I live them. These are the moments that make my heart skip with joy, even as it might ache with sorrow and uncertainty. These are the moments that bring me to cling to Him more than ever. These are the moments where I laugh, and what could be described as a look of hunger fills my eyes; where I'm hoping for another chance to laugh in the next few minutes. These words that I journal right now are the ones that make tears fill my eyes.
Because at second glimpse, one wonders and wanders. At second glimpse, one guesses and reacts. But we have a Father who sees not at first glimpse, but sees the whole picture. We have a Father who knows us to the very core of our being... and loves us. Who gives us not three answers to our prayers as we recited in Sunday-School so long ago, but four: "Yes," "No," "Not right now," or "I have something better." The hardship is not knowing what that something better is, but trusting that it is indeed something better. We have a Father who brings us to an albeit painful position on our knees, to allow us to witness Him. What greater joy? What greater pain? What greater testimony? And if all I leave on this earth is a testimony of His Love, it is enough.
I seek Proverbs 31 & Titus 2. Because she-
She is doing it.
Work hard for the Kingdom. Love with His love flowing through your heart and hands. Pass it on. She doesn't count those who take note of her.
She doesn't count those who criticize that she's not doing enough.
She creates- and gives because it's possible, and supposed to be that way, not because it's profitable.
She rejoices and looks to the future.
To clearing the path for others gaining boldness to also chart unknown territories.
Oh, we have what this world needs and desires.
So do I dare open my hands and ask for grace to give it? Whether that's "make one more sandwich and sing another song and fold another sock and open another textbook" or whether that's "share another verse, bring another soul to His grace, or go discover another something new."
Until my arms are overflowing and... tired.
Ah, may I become tired. And keep going. Living with no regrets.
This is my prayer.
In looking under couches and in dusty corners, I have seen and lived through much.
At second glimpse, it might be meaningless.
But at first glimpse- I am finding the true Treasure.
worth so much more than what this seemingly simple and ordinary girl could ever realize.
August 28, 2014
I've been learning a lot recently- be where you are, when you are there. There are no accidents. No trivial mistakes. There's a reason why you're here in this spot, now. "But He knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His path; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from the command of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. But He is unique and who can turn Him? And what His soul desires, that He does. For He performs what is appointed for me, and many such decrees are with Him." -Job 23:10-14 || So thankful, so blessed and filled with joy to be reminded by Him once again of the height and depth of His faithfulness. He knows where you are; He has lovingly paved and planned that road since the beginning of time. I think sometimes, we forget that God is all powerful. That He is all-knowing. That He is all-capable. And that we are not any of those things. He's not a God of sometimes. He's a God of always.
Why is it so hard for us to believe that God loves to give us good gifts? His heart is full of love for us...always! What if this path we walk now, with its current hardships and rocky ways, is a good gift..? How then, shall we respond to it? May it be with always running back to His everlasting, open arms...always kneeling at the foot of the cross.
"Just you wait and see; and you will be amazed. Just keep on believing this story is so far from over, and hold onto every promise.."