January 12, 2015

Arise {My One-Word 2015}

I sat down yesterday to ponder on the words I've had put on my heart, and found myself humming. i hope you never lose your sense of wonder. ...may you never take one single breath for granted. ...dance. I took a deep breath and let myself go a few days ago. I can't hold on to the broken pieces of me anymore, try to hold them together, try to understand anymore.  I mentioned a few days ago how the phrase "running freely" ties in to my one word for this year: arise.  Running freely to me means... to simply run towards Him without bounds. Without self-inflicted, established knots which we think are only for our good, but in actuality can cut like a knife- those ones that keep us from being what others would call fools for Him. I've been laughed at before. I sing on the sidewalk and dance in the rain in the middle of the road. I take pictures of the mountains, endless pictures. I voluntarily wake up at two in the morning to see if the moon has changed or if it happens to be raining outside, or just to watch the stars twinkle since the lights of the world have dimmed. I try to tiptoe gracefully in sandals as I walk, which gives me an interesting appearance as I look for kale and whole wheat crackers in the grocery store aisle. I let my fingers just brush the olding black and white keys of the piano for comfort. I find grace as I search for Him in the pieces of my mixed-up heart. I believe in God. I believe that He is the One who will tie all things together as He clears the dust from my heart and from the corners of the world according to His perfect timing. How much do we long for Him and His heart? I believe, passionately, conclusively, with every fiber of my being, that He will complete me. That everything will be made new, and nothing will be lacking.
Arise. Because He makes all things new. I will not for one moment regret that I wasn't living when Christ was here, because, and oh the thought gives me chills, I may yet be living when He comes back.
Arise. Because His return is imminent. Because I am God's now; I have nothing, no one to fear. As it is declared, so shall it be, and there is nothing but joy that should be involved.
Arise. Because His provision cannot and will not be thwarted. live ready. 
Arise. Because there is not much time left. Because this much I know is true: I am only here- you are only here- we are only here, because this is our God who loves us.

He knows more than we do the ache and pain and suffering we can and will or ever think we do experience in these bodies. He knows more than we can comprehend the joy that transcends us anyway, spilling over with expectation in His work. Who are we that belong to Him? He knows how, we belong to Him, we cannot stand still for Him. He knows that He is the hope that we lie waiting, wondering, longing for, that we run toward with that anticipation, expectation grasped tightly in both hands. Here is where He makes us brave. Here is where we take the first step on feet unsteady as we grasp His hand. Here is where we learn to walk with those open hands and hearts. Here is where we must arise + go + seek Him. Here is where we declare how fully we depend on Him.

"Arise, shine; for your light has come, & the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. 
For behold, darkness will cover the earth, and deep darkness the peoples; but the Lord will rise upon you, & His glory will appear upon you. Nations will come to your light,& 
kings to the brightness of your rising." -Isaiah 60:1-3

I have plans for this year. Hopes. Dreams, wishes too, maybe. Maybe sometimes I imagine the impossible, but then I remember how many times He's proven Himself the God of that very word and a smile breaks across my face. How will I ever truly know how great, how strong, how big my Father's arms are...unless I take the first step He's beckoned me to? How can I not watch that story unfold in all of its wonder and uncertainty? 
Let me mull over that. Let me chew on that. Let me fall open, become. 



January 5, 2015

-Running Freely-

Running Freely. 

The Lord blessed us with a beautiful snow, and I had the most wonderful opportunity to capture that day in film. Running Freely is a phrase that I have taken close to heart this year... but more on that (+ my choice for my one word soon). Please enjoy, share, and let me know what you think. :) 

December 30, 2014

Known {I Believe in Love}

It's 5am as I drive through the still quiet streets. It's the time of year where lights glisten as they wrap around trees and paper and glass snowflakes dangle from the surrounding areas. Suddenly I glimpse the lit cross up on the hill once again, and a shiver of joy flickers through my tired spine. The sight of that cross alone does worlds of wonder to the thought of my work that morning. You can only see it in the wee hours of the morning or late in the evening, when darkness hovers. Thinking about that as I looked for it on the drive homeward this afternoon, I realized how interesting it was that it had to be dark and I had to be tired when I saw it. Yet, when the sun is shining and I'm perked up at the thought of an afternoon to clean and do usual things, I can't see it at all- half the time because my brain has been busy and flustered all day; half the time because I'm not looking for it. But it's still there. It's in the still small moments that Christ shines as the beacon of Hope and redeeming Love He is. "Fix your eyes on Me."

I'm learning that I cannot have a table of contents or a timeline, as much as I or others would like me to. My plan is expectancy in all things. My plans involve that prayer that He would reveal Himself more and more. Deeper and truer and more real. More of You, more of You, more of You, Jesus. I'm in a fairly new and albeit somewhat howling place. Newly an adult, not-so-newly a college student, Lord-willing, soon to be a mission transplant, storyteller, artist. I cannot profess to know many things. I'm learning how little I really do know in contrast to how much I really want to think I do; how much I have yet to experience and hope for; how wild and vast and strong and beautiful and broken are the hollow and brimming full depths of this life I call mine. But this: yes, I do know God is good. Yes, I do believe God is good. And I see this in my life. I've seen this more than slightly evidently in this last year, in the vast reaches of joy followed by pain which I'm still working through and the greater joy I'm learning from. I've seen His good and grace in the smallest things, in the most mundane minutes, in the folding of socks and looking under couches, in the most... unexpected places. That's what I want to say, sing, write about, paint. That's what this place is for. Those emotional intersections, this teaching of grace. 

"I believe... in Love." 
It's so trite, so simple, but the words holds so much meaning for me. I believe we inadequate beings are Loved beyond all we profess we know or understand. I believe that Love sings songs, unique songs over each of our broken selves, and that He reveals to us the songs that He prays for our names. I believe that we are here to love, and love well, as difficult and however vulnerable that makes your soul break, for that is how it becomes.  I believe that we are called to give this Love, receive this Love, walk in this Love, and to live and believe with all our hearts in this Love. I believe that we are to get our hands dirty, and we are to build up people. I believe that thankfulness is posture of our hearts that run overflowing out of genuine trust and absolute surrender. I believe that the truest of joys comes from a place of thanksgiving for who God is and what God is doing in this instant, here, though I cannot see. I believe that God opens us to His beauty, present in His people and His creation...and resting and revitalizing in His presence. I believe that He is faithful, even when I am not. I believe that He is constant when I don't see Him because my eyes are blurred. He is everything when I am not; yet I am an unchained beauty He calls His own. I believe that he is continually awakening us to wonder, that our truest identity is simply, Beloved. I believe that God has given us all passions that we are to go out into the world with & be brave. 

I believe that we are known. It's a good way to end this year, I think. I've contemplated closing this corner down and not coming back for a while. But I need this little hallowed space to share what He's working in my human heart. Here is a piece of my heart. 

----> I believe that we are loved. I believe that we are His.